Silly Swings

Dear Social Networking Site Users,

Are you sick and tired of zero notification? Are you bored of having the same irksome comments like "nice" or "cute" on your profile pics every other day? Are you dying to try sometihing new to get more attention on your facebook, twitter, myspace, etc.?

Then your long wait is over. For starters, by all means grab your HD camera and your slutty seducing outfits and start taking pictures like a beeyatch!




How to invite impolite and molesting comments on your Pictures Online:

1. Don't be an angel. You think you're the sexiest person on the planet so don't be too down-to-earth. Life is a competition. You won't get notice unless you look like a sex god/goddess.

2. Always wear slutty outfits (wearing just underwear is much better) and try exposing some of your proud big body parts when taking a picture because you think your body is a masterpiece. It deserves special attention.

3. Add and confirm people you don't know and don't like so that everyone will know and see what kind of a loser you are.

4. Take a lot of ragging photos and upload it publicly because you think you're a bikini model (you wish).

5. Take photos in your room, especially on the bed. Imagine yourself as a hot beeyatch.

6. And lastly, if someone commented that you are a "beeyatch" or a "bus-tard", give yourself a pat on the back. You derserve all the credit because you're the only person who took and uploaded the photos. Nobody told you nothing. If you're lucky, people from other dimention might see all your weird poses because some retarded alien shared it to all his/her social E.T. friends.

Nonetheless, if things get out of control and you've been embarassed and humiliated online because of your pictures, here are some guidlines you should follow:

#1) Do not PANIC. Remember that it was your choice and nobody forced you to do anything.

#2) Cry and cry until you're dry and you just want to die. Just blame your computer and the internet connection because you strongly believe that you don't have anything to do with it.

#3) Hide all your obscene photos and block all the "mudder pakers" who made you cry. They don't know nothing and you think you deserve to be treated with respect.

#4) Finally, if you are so "PAKING" rich, just sue everybody (the camera, the computer, internet connection and the aliens on your social site). Tell the judge that you took and uploaded the slutty photos in your consent and you are not responsilble for any of the impolite remarks because there is nothing wrong about the beetchy pictures, only the comments (pag-sure oi!)

P.S. ^_^!

Dearly Beloved,

Allow me to state the obvious. You build your own image online. Nobody told you what you should be and what you should do. Thereby, don't blame other people if you're being harrased because of your immoral photos or videos on your social networking site. Rubbish expressions and comments can be avoided. However, if you think that you are too proud to show off your beeyatchy side, then I suggest you upload more sheety photos publicly so that everyone will like and hate you at the same time.

Some truth about other people: Based on Real Life Experience

1. Never try to ask someone to be a mediator to a conflict especially if the person doesn't know the real facts of the story. It doesn't really solve anything, it will only keep you hanging and speechless. (dang!)

2. Sisters or family members are always the first people who'll be there by your side when someone tries to push you down. It's a family instinct and only few people know that.

3. First person to tell his/her side of the story gets more attention because gossip mongers are everywhere. They put oil to the flames and they are the reason why people in a conflict situation tend to do worse things in the end.

4. Social networking sites have limitations. However, sharing your inner thoughts and expressing to the whole world what you truly feel was never crime. After all, that's our freedom of expression. Guilty people are the ones who exaggerate a lot because they always think that you are referring to them. (If names aren't there, than it's not you! lol :D)

5. Interpersonal Communication is always important. There are some matters that can never be talked over the phone or through text messages. Emotions might get in the way and conversations may lead to misunderstanding.

6. HOT HEAD + HOT HEAD= CONFLICT.

7. Being funny or gay is never a problem. But too much of it is not good because you tend to be insensitive.

8. People always have priorities. Understanding other people's priority is a must. You can't just talk to someone and tell him\her to do this and that because we've been doing same thing for you last year. That kind of approach will not convince anyone to jump on your games. Putting too much pressure on someone will always lead to conflict.

9. I don't give a dang about the person offended me posting his inner thoughts and grudges about me on facebook. That's your right and be merry about it. If it'll make you any better than get on with it. (now it's FAIR!) Damages had been done and I don't worry about it anymore because I'm not guilty of anything. I'll live my life and you live yours. LOL :D

10. Despite flaws and all, I'm glad I learned something important. Grudges will only give guilty people sleepless nights. And I don't hold grudges and I'm not guilty of anything. So, for those of you who find this situation crazy yet a bit amusing, let me hear a round of applause.

Did I Strike A Nerve?

Ladies and Gentlemen,